A daily routine

Missing her has become a daily routine for me..I just can't seem to be able to not miss her for even one single day...more often than not, I miss her most at very late hours..for instance, now at 5.10am..while blogging this entry..knowing that I have to wake up at 10am to go to dean's office to collect something and one whole day of studying in sch..sighz..

During the KRMF 2006 appreciation dinner today, Hong's mum asked everyone what type of gal that we are looking for..in my heart, I wanted to say her..yet..I know I can't..anyway..its pretty interesting to talk abt. idealised criteria of the gf/spouse one wants. For me, I mentioned that I will never fall for a lawyer or an accountant..this insistence that these kind of occupations may make a woman undesirable to me should stand the test of time..becos they often have really bz careers and while a lawyer can be too outspoken and articulate, an accountant can be too calculative and meticulous.

A clean break? I was certainly not wishing for one..hoping that she will still be in my life..and somehow she is still in my life..guess she didn't have the heart to just cut me off totally from her life..she sms-ed me a lame forwarded sms,prompting me to send her back an equally lame one,then one personalised sms..n one more back from me..n end of interaction... A simple short exchange of 2 sms-es actually gave me a short term release from my own missing her..yet my rational self knows this is not good for my long term recovery..judging by my daily routine of missing her...what recovery am I talking abt.?

I really want to recover..I really want to be geniunely happy again..yet I can't help myself from missing her more and more..

Sometimes, I wish I never knew her....
Sometimes, I wish I can don't wake up