Its over

Its over. Its the end. Will we even be friends in the future? Will I see her again? Life always provides me with questions that I can't answer. Yet, the pain is setting in and I need to break the routine of waking up to her sms-es, looking forward to hearing her voice on the phone, looking at her photos while missing her, yearning for the unfulfilled dream of listening to her playing the song Right Here Waiting for me. All these have to be consigned to history and memories and my feelings for her to the bin. If only it doesn't hurt so much...yet it hurt a lot and still hurt.

I have always been one to go to the extremes and turning to nicotine and alcohol for theraupatic purposes seems to be harmful or foolish to say the least. But, I always knew I needed to turn to the extreme at the very start to kickstart my own recovery process. I got very drunk at my buddy's house,smoked, cried, wallow, talked nonsense, listened to advices and finally ended up with a massive hangover that is still present while typing this blog entry. Yet at the end of the day, I finally felt much better. The hangover had a desirable impact of overriding any other emotions. The drinking session provided me an avenue for release.

I will be fine, I will recover, I will find my focus back...I can't wallow in sadness for too long.
Thanks to all my friends who showed me lots of care and concern and who will continue showing me even more care and concern. I will be fine. The real battle has only just started....