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I miss her...been refraining from sms-ing/msn-ing/calling her since that sms on friday afternoon...it does hurt...it is painful..but definitely much less pain than what she can deal me with...Been trying my best to smile more,laugh more and crack more jokes..humour as a defence mechanism? humour is the best medicine..? Maybe..just feel like drinking alcohol now..a heineken or a glass of chocolate mint baileys but I have none now..sighz..Maybe Andrew is right....
'If my happiness depends on someone, I'll never be completely free or happy.'
'There'll always be a misogynist part of me that will whisper...look how weak you've become, fawning over another human, just because she's got boobs and a pussy and some chemical primitive processes in your animal brain fancies you're experiencing this illusion called true pure love. Desire is never pure man, and you know it.'
Sighz..words of wisdom from my best friend...yah..I'm neither free or happy in a totality sense..bonded by the feeling of liking her..but hey..if slavery can be abolished..this form of bondage shouldn't be too much of a problem...I hope...
Yah, I'm weak, vulnerable and I am disappointed and sometimes hate myself for allowing myself to go through all these crap..n feeling miserable...
* Wake up..........
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
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2 comments:
it took dunno how many hundreds of years for slavery to be abolished. in contrast, how much time have u have left?
but anyway, this is a point i've always contested against andrew, still, what matters more is what your view is, not what your best friend's view is.
ooh i love your friend's quote(s)
totally agree that you'll never be completely happy if you are dependent. have to control your own life and that way, everything is so much simpler. (:
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