reality check~

Happiness..what a transient and often elusive feeling when it comes to love..I felt geniune, irrational happiness for 3 full days with regards to her..and I am so contented. Contented but afraid at the same time. Its true..happiness in this form is often illusory and can be gone as fast as they come. I guess she was right to give me a reality check by telling me to not like her too much..becos she's still unstable and need time to recover...

What a bittersweet feeling..I appreciate her concern..n yet the irrational feeling of happiness gets dissipated in an instance...when I look back at my past..I have never ever been so irrational before...this is the first time I am so irrational..hopelessly indulging in the feeling of liking her..yet..I need to keep telling myself to take reality checks now n then..

Can anyone tell me how to be rational when you made a decision to do the irrational thing to follow your heart? But..it is necessary, I guess..because the more happiness felt in this uncertain stage, the closer I get to her, the more hurt that I might received in the end and the deeper I might sink. Sighz..

Keeping a certain distance seems to be a right option..maybe I shouldn't ask her out so soon..maybe I need to not initiate contact as and when my heart wants me to..maybe the feeling for her might fade away with such self-restraint..maybe I will become a life buoy again..maybe there's a happy ending..

With so many uncertainties ahead, I am so tempted to just live for the moment and don't give much thought to the eventual outcome..soaking myself in the happiness and sweetness that comes along the way...

But in order to just be around in her life again..I need many reality checks now n then..I cannot allow myself to sink too deeply and then suddenly request a total break..I like the fact that when she's happy, I'm really happy..

*In life, there's always a need for reality checks..living for the moment more often than not can be counterproductive.

On a separate note

Another round of battle lies in the horizon, the battered and bruised warlord is again sensing blood and this time round is ready to win every battles thrown in his path.Let the war begins for that's when the bloodthirsty warlord gets his mundane satisfaction again.