My first regret regarding her..

Yes, I still care..a lot for her..and I totally regret the slightly harsh tone of my sms last nite, I knew it was going to hurt her, n I hate myself for hurting her...I totally hate myself for causing hurt to someone I like so much..I hate it when I could have dealt with the situation better..perhaps..this teaches me a lesson to not do anything on impulse again..yet..only on impulse could I make a decision to make a total break from her..its so ironic that I reneged on my decision and sms her just 24 hours later, it was really affecting me so much..so I had to sms her just now at 5am apologizing for the harsh tone and conveying the same meaning of a total break..but the tone, the words more accurately reflects my feelings towards her..

Sighz..I want so much to just keep continuing caring for her...I want it so badly..yet I can't..its for my own good that I don't care for her anymore, its a tough decision to abide to, but I must try my best, because I don't want to be hurt anymore..a life buoy once dispensible is really sad..rather than wait for my own value to be lost completely n discarded away..its better to leave with some dignity and recover...I need to be selfish..I know I can be selfish..humans are born selfish anyway...I am going to vanish from her life..and its long overdue...yup..

From the bottom of my heart, I wish her happiness and hope that she will not encounter/endure/suffer any heartbreaks or problems in life..a nice gal like her deserve the best things in life...