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Have been smoking a lot more these days..
Just puked,just had too much to drink at a pub,just flared up at my buddy and make him damn pissed..just received a one liner e-mail from her...god..can my life get even more sucky...so..what's wrong with me..?
Is it really that hard to get over a gal..I wonder..if it is not..why am i suffering so much...i am crazy..crazy..crazy...i hate myself..the present me is detestable..getting down every nite is not me..not me at all..flaring up when a fuse is lit is me...but normally..i am able to keep that fuse tightly secured n hidden..yet..i seem to be much more easily irritated these days...its been tough...its been really sucky...i hate myself...
My obsession with a first class honours is taking an unexpected toll on me..I have been mugging..especially hard since that total break..exhausting my mind..thinking that will get me over her n also aid my road in my quest for my first class honours..yet..I am not confident at all..i feel i have wasted too much time..i feel that 4.7 or 2 A, 3A- per sem for the remainder of my nus life is just an impossible target..why can't i be fucking satisfied with a 2nd upper...why am i looking in the mirror n seeing a loser..i am a loser aint i..i want so badly for my first class..something i have aimed for even b4 i go nus...
When i wake up, I will have a bad hangover..
When i wake up, i will want my heart to be dead for her..
When i wake up, i will be fine..
When i wake up, i will put my mind,heart,soul into studying..
When i wake up, i will be happy again..
So when are u waking up, yanwei?
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
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4 comments:
it is difficult to get over a person if you love her. remember that loving a person is not wrong, so don't hate yourself ok... perhaps u r just frustrated, what with being upset and the pressure of getting your 1st class.. find a healthy way to destress? Like exercising etc.
I say just do your best in these circumstances and see where it takes you.
Yup,thanks..sighz..I tend to turn to extremes at times to get over her..but its not really working..but yah..will slowly pick myself up n just do my best..
don't worry, there are people who turn to extremes when they're upset too... I read about a girl who wld scratch herself and not let the wounds heal, I myself have used physical pain before too... but we should love ourselves and not hurt ourselves, because nobody will love us more..
it's been only a month or two so far for you, pain still bound to be fresh ba..
yes, do it at your own pace. Cheers.
heyz buddy
Man, it's only been a few days of not reading ur blog and this is happening. It makes me wonder if all the kind of encouragement that I gave you was right. And all I have said regarding this. Perhaps not, I guess. You really seem to need a rest, take some time away from all this insanity. Just wanna say, do your best, but have a rest when it's needed. And, don't try too hard to remember or to forget. Either way, you're reminding yourself to remember. So, just take it as it goes? Sounds hard, but well, I guess, as time passes, this should be it. Oh well, and if you have the time, we can always meet up for a drink or dinner. My projects are all done! haha... Take care boy, and I hope that you'll be happy :)
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