Following my heart...

She broke up with her bf.
She wants me in her life.
I don't want to move on.
I added her back on msn.
I want to hear her voice again.
I'm going to meet her sometime soon.
Can I be more irrational?


I have decided. I have given up on the thought of moving on le..at least for now. I never wanted to move on anyway..its just that it was the rational/necessary thing. Perhaps, its still the 'right' thing to do..but I'm not going to do it..

I like her...a lot...and she needs a strong emotional support system for this period..so my heart says there's only one choice here..be there for her..you want to...Of course,I'm not that selfless...she gave me that glimmer of hope again..and I just need that bit of hope to sustain me...perhaps I'm really silly...but I want to believe and try for this last time.

I don't want to be a rebound...I won't be pushing for anything..I don't even think I'm expecting anything(I really will love to be together with her..but I'm not expecting that to happen)..I'm just going to be there for her..That's the plan for now at least..until perhaps..it gets unbearable..but I'm actually surprised at the amount of pain I can take..I'm surprised at my staying power..I'm surprised at how much joy I feel when she's happy...and how much pain I feel when she's sad...

I guess this rollercoaster ride is going to go on for a long long while...shall brace myself for the ride...and try my best to not sink too deeply..as I have found out..Hurt has a bottomless pit..you can never be too hurt...