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This must be one of the most trying periods in my life, everything just seem to be happening and I am so tired....I wish I could just run away from all this and not face all these issues...
Best Friend
My best friend's work permit got rejected and have to fly back to Malaysia. I won't be able to see him much around anymore and seeing him so confused about his own future and me unable to do anything to help him just sucks. I will not forget you, Andrew and I pray that you don't forget me too. My best friend for 10 years, take care.
Relationships
My buddy just broke up with a gal he love deeply but the problems just seem to be so insurmountable.
My good friend is still suffering from a rejection from a gal he likes.
Two more close friends are not recovering from their hearbreaks despite the fact that months have passed, apparently time can't heal all wounds(or even a few wounds).
Etc, etc, etc, sighz...everyone around me seems to be going through shit...damn it....
Academic stuff
I hate to be a mute during tutorials, I want to regain my confident self during tutorials again. I need to catch up on all the readings that I have neglected before I can speak up more again. Arraggz...all the assignment datelines are closing in. Yanwei, if you don't buck up, you are going to feel worse than hell. Suddenly the possibility of failure haunts..everyone seems to be expecting that I will do well, get good grades and fare well...at this moment I feel that I'm closer to a first class seat to hell then a first class honours...I am so screwed...
Her
I know she still reads my blog, maybe I should change my blog address...how I wish I could still read her blog, how I wish I could still care for her like in the past..but that's such a receipe for disaster. I still miss her yet I need to make the rational choice of not doing anything in order to not be hurt even more. I really don't noe what I want and cant control my actions and thoughts sometimes...but the bottom line is since she's back with her boyfriend, I do need to get over her....
Rant,rant,rant...must be the lack of sleep...going to have as much sleep as I want tonite...tmr will be a better day, I hope..(sometimes, false hope is better than no hope)
Friday, September 08, 2006
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1 comment:
dear yanwei,
i want to care, and i do care.
i wish there is something i could do, and i wish i knew what.
if you have any ideas, plz tell me.
you need someone to care, you need someone to be your motivation to pick up again, you need someone just to be there. just for this difficult period... it won't last forever, see. if there is anything that i can do... sighz.
thank you for not changing your blog address.
maybe the whirlwind in your mind is back, or hasn't subsided in the first place... maybe you can talk to somebody... maybe you can still talk to me... perhaps i don't know exactly how to help, but... i really wish i can do something to cheer you up, be there for you... just for this tough period, if it would get you through... because i hate to see you like this, and things around you so bleak... i just want to try and make things better, if i can still bring joy to you, if talking to me can make you happier... don't think about the hurt, don't think... for now.
sometimes when things get really bad, we have to go for short term solutions, rather than long term. take it one step at a time, try and sort yourself out, talk about it with somebody, or just continue writing about it... and know that there's someone out there who cares.
i really hope things will take a good turn for you, and don't worry about me cos i'm ok.. and again, i wish i can do something to warm your heart, for more than just a moment from an sms.
love,
callie
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